


All he ever wanted

by 5secsofcalming



Category: 5 Seconds of Summer (Band)
Genre: 5+1 Things, Boys In Love, Boys Kissing, Cuddling & Snuggling, Fluff, Kissing, Luke and Ashton are oblivious to each other's feelings, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-11
Updated: 2015-04-11
Packaged: 2018-03-22 09:23:32
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,289
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3723646
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/5secsofcalming/pseuds/5secsofcalming
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The 5 times Ashton almost tells Luke he loves him and the 1 time Luke works it out for himself.</p>
            </blockquote>





	All he ever wanted

**1**

 

The first time Ashton tried to tell Luke that he was in love with him ended up too subtle for Luke's tired mind. They'd just got back to the hotel and the two boys were rooming together, both already sprawled over their beds, tiredness heavy in Luke's voice as he mutters "Saw a girl just before, totally your type, shame you didn't see her". Ashton stifled a yawn as he made an incoherent noise, looking over at Luke's body curled on top of the bed because he was too tired to get under the covers. Attempting not to actually  _coo_ at how cute he looked, Ashton smiled. "What's my type then, Lukey?"

"She was cute, kinda little, so she wouldn't hurt your ego by being taller than you-" Luke gut himself off with a small chuckle as Ashton whined. "M'not short, stop being mean to me just cause you're taller than trees"

"Just kidding Ashy, but you are shorter" he giggled. "Anyway, she was tanned, could quite easily be a model I reckon, dark hair that was, like, _really_ long. Nice smile"

"Lukey, that's, like, not my type  _at all_ " Ashton chuckled.

"No?"

"Nope. True, I like people that are cute, but I also like people that I can have a deep conversation with at 3am without them complaining about my rambling. People who tell bad jokes because they know they're my favourite. I wanna be with someone because they understand who I am, not because they look like a model. Although I do have a preference for tall blondes." he said, adding a small wink to the younger boy at the last bit.

"That's real good of you Ash. S'what I want too. Not tall though. Wanna be taller so I can protect them. Sleep now though"

Luke heard some shuffling and before he really realised what going on, he was lifted off his bed and then put back down again gently and tucked under his covers with a soft kiss placed on his forehead. "So good to me, Ashy. Love you" he murmured.

"Love you too Lukey, get some sleep."

 

**2**

 

The second time Ashton tries is when Luke is wallowing in sadness at 4am and neither of them know why. Ashton wakes up randomly in the middle of the night and when he first woke he wasn't sure what was going on until he heard a small sniffle followed by a sob coming from Luke's bed on the other side of the room. Without hesitation, he jumped out of his bed and headed across the room, sliding in behind the younger boy and wrapping a strong arm around his waist. 

"What's wrong, babe?" he whispered, pressing his lips against the taller boy's shoulder to comfort him.

There was a silence for a while where it seemed like Luke was trying to collect his thoughts, before he let out a broken "I don't know Ash, just feel like shit"

Ashton's heart broke, he knew that sometimes Luke would get like this without knowing what was making him feel like that, and that meant that there wasn't really anything he could say that would make the boy better. So, instead, he just rolled onto his back, pulling Luke onto his chest and carding his fingers through the mess of blonde hair, relaxing when he heard Luke's breath start to even out.

"I wish you knew how much I love you. Wish I could protect you" he murmured, bringing Luke's hand that had gone limp in sleep against Ashton's chest, bringing it up to his lips and pressing a soft kiss against the knuckles. "I really love you, Lukey".

 

**3**

 

 

Instead of going straight to telling Luke that he loves him, he decides that he should maybe start by telling Luke that he was actually into guys first to see how he reacted to that. For some weird reason, this genius idea came in the middle of a strip club where the boys had decided to go for Michael's birthday (by boys, they actually mean  _Calum_ , but same difference). As the night went on, Ashton got more and more uncomfortable about the thought that they were actually at a strip club, and at any point Cal or Mike could decide to get him, or even worse,  _Luke_ , a lapdance, and Ashton really wasn't sure how to process that thought. He knew that it would be awkward for him because he's never been attracted to a girl, let alone ones in a small dingy place when she wasn't even dressed appropriately. He let out a small laugh to himself at the thought that at least, if it happened, he wouldn't exactly pop a boner seeing her rubbing herself all over his body.

It was different with Luke though, because who knows... Luke might even _like_ it. Ashton's pretty sure that Luke only likes girls, and if a willing one is there dancing erotically on you, who knows... maybe Luke will have some emotional connection to the girl and Ashton will  _never_ have a chance, not like he ever did anyway.

Fortunately for Ashton though, he finds Luke sitting in some plush armchair, seemingly a lot more interested in what's on his phone screen that what's surrounding him. Plonking himself down on the chair opposite, Luke startles for a second before relaxing as he realises that it's just Ashton. "Hey Ash, not treating yourself to some action? Saw a tall busty blonde over there, you could get some fun with her, if tall blonde's your type" he winked, poking his tongue out at the older boy.

"Tall blonde is my type, but she probably isn't. This isn't really my scene" he said, offering a small smile. "I'd have to make a few changes to this place for it to be more my type of thing, and even then I don't think it'd have what I want", he added, chuckling. _'_ _Too many girls for my liking. And none of them are you.'_   he adds in his head, but decides against it.

"I could ask you the same anyway, why aren't you with some hot girl? They're all shorter than you so that's a step in the right direction" 

"Not really feeling it. Didn't even wanna come here anyway, I came 'cause it's Mikey's birthday but he's fucked off with Cal to find, and I quote, "some super hot chicks that'll make them feel good". That's not why I came. Why did we have to come to a strip club anyway? What's wrong with, like, laser tag or something that we can all have fun with?"

"Lukey, you're pouting."

"M'not"

"Yeah you are babe, now come on, let's ditch the losers and go home and do something better than this. I'll text Mike and say we're going" Ashton giggled, springing up onto his feet and extending a hand to Luke so that he could pull them up.

Ashton pretends to ignore the butterflies in his stomach as Luke doesn't drop his hold on Ashton's hand the whole way home and even still as they watch a film and end up falling asleep with their fingers still entwined.

 

**4**

 

It was New Year's Eve and Ashton had ended up in some random club in Sydney with the rest Luke and Calum (nobody was sure where Michael was, he hadn't replied to any messages in the last few days, favouring his man-cave instead. He'd spent the night stressed out as he'd lost the two younger boys pretty much straight away as soon as they walked in. He knew Calum could look after himself and had probably found somebody to blow off steam with but he was worried about Luke and whether or not he was grinding up against some pretty girl while he was drunk. 

Pushing the idea to the back of his mind, Ashton downed two beers and headed to the dancefloor. Thinking about Luke a lot made him frustrated in more ways than one and he was starting to wonder if there was some pretty boy that would remind him of Luke that might fuck him into oblivion. As soon as the thought crossed his mind though, it felt like some betrayal to Luke, even though he'd never have a chance with him. Instead, he settled for grinding up against whoever it was that had a strong grip on his waist and was pulling him closer. Letting himself go and moving his body with the music, he couldn't help how good it felt - he hadn't had this kind of contact in a long time and he was worried about getting hard until he felt that whoever was behind him was starting to too, and was probably really into it if the sharp short breaths he could hear behind him were anything to go by.

The music stopped and when he realised what was going on, the whole crowd as already on 7 of the countdown to midnight.

6...  _I wish this was Luke_

5...  _Can I do this? Just kiss some randomer?_

4...  _It'd be wrong... right?_

3...  _Fuck it._

2...  **LUKE?!**

1...  _Fuck it._

Luke was probably hammered by now, and Ashton was so horny but more importantly, so  _in love_. Surging forward, he pressed his lips to Luke's as the noise signalled it was midnight. A whole new year. 2015. When Ashton felt Luke's lips meeting his in a messy, but also  _perfect_ kiss, Ashton almost couldn't believe it, until he remembered that Luke was probably really drunk and probably wouldn't remember this in the morning. Regardless, that didn't stop the fireworks from exploding all over Ashton's body and without realising one hand went to the nape of Luke's neck, slightly tugging at the short hairs, while the other slipped down his body to rest on Luke's chest. 

Eventually, the pair broke apart and were left breathless, staring at each other in bewilderment. "Happy New Year, Ash" Luke said softly, pressing another quick kiss to Ashton's lips and then giggling, skipping off and blending into the crowd that had started moving with the music again.

Ashton was left confused, still slightly horny and completely happily in love as he stared in the direction Luke had gone with a small smile on his face as he quietly said "Happy New Year, Lukey"

 

**5**

 

The boys were in Japan when Ashton finally told Luke he was gay. Luke's reaction wasn't really what he expected, but it was also all he could really have hoped for. They were laying in their room, something that neither of them could understand on the tv, light illuminating the otherwise dark room as night blanketed them. Ashton had considered telling Luke about his dislike of girls in that way for a while but couldn't work out the right way to do it. Ashton just watched the boy for a while as the light from the tv created some beautiful shapes all over the blonde boy's face, the mixture of light and shadow making him look ethereal and just so  _beautiful_ and Ashton hadn't thought he could love Luke any more but looking at him like this the boy just looked like the most precious work of art in all the world.

"Ash, you're staring"

Ashton panicked, eyes flicking away from the younger boy as if that would convince him that no, he wasn't creepily staring at his best friend in a dark room while the light from some random programme painted him as a masterpiece. Nope. Not at all.

Luke laughed lightly, turning to face Ashton properly for the first time all night. "Yeah you were Ash. Didn't expect you to have a problem with there being a gay couple on whatever the hell this thing even is though"

"I don't have a problem! Didn't even notice they were! I wasn't even staring at you Lucas, I looked over to see if you were still awake. Haven't even been watching this thing, I wasn't paying attention to it" Ashton spurted too quickly.  _Nice one, dickhead. Now he knows. This was_ _ **not** the plan. _ "Plus, I-Imgayanyway" he added, quieter and quicker in the hopes that Luke didn't really hear.

Instead, Luke just laughed for a good 5 minutes while all sorts of panicked thoughts ran through Ashton's mind until Luke cut across them all as he calmed down with a simple "I know."

Ashton squeaked, _how had he known?!_ He'd never said anything to the boy, and when he kissed him Luke was drunk and didn't seem to remember anything the next day. Was he  _that_ obvious?

"Ash, I've seen you fawning over cute guys way more than I've seen you pay the slightest bit of attention to some girl. Your face is actually quite funny when people speak about how this girl did this and this girl did that. Your nose wrinkles up whenever anybody mentions you getting laid when it's some girl. S'cute. I've just been wondering how long it'd take you to be comfortable enough to tell us. Am I the first one you've told?"

"Yeah, didn't really know how to tell you guys. Didn't want you to think I was weird or not 'normal' or something"

"Ash, we  _know_ you're weird. That's why we love you, okay? And what's normal anyway? Didn't think you'd be a bottom though"

"What?!" Ashton squealed, voice raising 5 octaves. _Goddammit. How did he know?!_

"You're all big and strong and powerful but I've heard you, seen you rubbing against random guys in bars when you thought none of us were looking. You're kinda obvious with that, no offence. And we  _room together_ , Ash. I know what all of you like, it's kinda hard to sleep when someone's getting off literally like 2 feet away from you. It's okay though, Ash, I'm not gonna say any more. It's your preference, and I'm not gonna make fun of you for it. You're my best friend, it doesn't matter that you prefer someone's dick in you rather than your dick in some girl. It's what makes you  _you_. I love you regardless. I'm proud of you for telling me. Thanks for telling me first. Love you, Ashy"

Ashton didn't reply for a while and for a moment Luke thought maybe he'd fallen asleep until he looked over and saw the boy with his hands covering his eyes and his legs tucked into his chest, trying to make himself disappear in the hopes that maybe that whole conversation hadn't happened and he wasn't really that obvious. Luke padded over to his bed anyway, lying behind Ashton and curving into the same shape so they could be as close as possible, pressing his lips against Ashton's shoulder in the same way Ashton does to him when he's sad, securing his arm around his tightly and nuzzling his nose into the older boy's neck, warm breath tickling Ashton as Luke muttered a soft "M'sorry, Ash. Didn't mean to make you uncomfortable. Just wanted to prove how you're who you are because of this, and we all love who you are. I love you the most when you're you. Go to sleep though, big day tomorrow. Love you" Luke said, pressing another kiss to Ashton's shoulder and another one to his neck as he made himself comfortable and fell asleep clutching onto the older but smaller boy.

 

**1**

 

The boys are back in LA and yet again Ashton and Luke are sharing a room. Since Ashton came out to Luke, they've been sharing a bed more often than usual. Neither boy is sure why, it just kinda happened. If they were sharing a room, someone would get up from their bed in the middle of the night and cuddle the other one. It was just nice. They hadn't been home in a while, but they were little reminders of home. 

One night, Ashton was lying in bed, playing with his phone, unsure of where Luke was. Eventually, he heard the door opening, followed by the soft padding of Luke's feet and his voice calling out quietly. "Ash? You awake?"

He felt the bed dip, followed by an arm being wrapped around his waist and a pair of lips pecking Ashton's shoulder. "Hey Lukey" he eventually replied, locking his phone and dropping it onto the bed. He didn't need it now. He had Luke to keep him company now. The two stayed in a comfortable silence for a while, occupied with each other. That's all they really needed. The comfort of having each other close.

After a while, without really meaning it to, Ashton's train of thought slipped out as he said "Have you ever been in unconditional love?"

Ashton felt Luke's head move a little more, as if he was trying to see Ashton's face a little more, as he asked "What do you mean? Have you?"

"I think so. There's this guy, and I'm pretty sure that I'm madly in love with him. Everything he does makes me fall a little harder, and I didn't think I could ever love someone more. He doesn't even think of me that way, and nothing would ever come from it, but I still feel like I'm betraying him if I do anything with anybody else. You know when somebody's just so perfect that the sun might aswell shine out of their ass. When I look at him I can't see any flaws, like he has a couple of 'imperfections' but they just make him more perfect. He just brightens up my day, even if it's just something little. And he tells really lame jokes, like  _really_  bad, but they still make me laugh cause it's  _him_ and everything he does makes me fall harder. I laughed at his cheese joke, Luke.  _Cheese._ Why did  _I_ laugh at a joke about  _cheese_?!"

"Ash, you should tell him. I'm sure he feels the same."

"Lukey, it's not that easy. I'm not his type. Hell, I'm not even the right  _gender!"_

"You don't know that for sure, Ash. Maybe he's not told you. Do I know him? Should I try find out?"

Ashton contemplated the best way to reply, trying to work out the best way to reply to Luke without creeping him out. He didn't want to lose him. Eventually, he sighed... "Better than I do, Lukey"

Then it was Luke's turn to be quiet for a moment. Ashton could almost hear the cogs turning, and it was like he realised what Ashton meant. "Ash... is it- is it me?" He asked, almost a whisper.

"M'really sorry Lukey"

Ashton felt a tear leave his eye and furiously wiped it away, nudging Luke at the same time. He felt Luke squeeze him tighter instead. "Ash, you don't know how glad I am. I've been in love with you since the day you defended me at the cinema. S'why I didn't like the strip club. I wanted you. I  _want_ you. Not those girls. Not anybody else. It's always been you. I thought you regretted New Year's Eve so I never said anything, but I don't care if it means I can have you now. If you'll have me, of course."

Ashton couldn't help the grin that spread across his face, along with the tears of joy as he wriggled so that he could face the younger boy."I want you forever, Lukey. I love you. Always"

The moment was so beautiful and Ashton couldn't even believe he was crying and it was so  _embarassing_ but he didn't even care because he had Luke now and he could kiss him whenever he wanted. So he did, again and again. And Ashton finally got his true happiness now he has  _his Lukey._

**Author's Note:**

> if you wanna say hey [this is my tumblr](raggedybuck.tumblr.com)


End file.
